About a year-and-a-half ago, I stumbled upon the book, Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner. At the time, I had been reading my way through the books of Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements) and everything I could get my hands on related to Toltec wisdom. Because I’m on his publisher’s mailing list, I always get emails whenever any of their books go to 99 cents on Amazon. I knew nothing about it when I bought it, and had no expectations, considering that I’ve never been someone who enjoys journaling. However, as it often happens, it was exactly what I needed at the time. I was introduced to deep soul writing – where journaling and meditation merge – and a whole new world opened up in my spiritual journey. It was an approach to writing that resonated deeply with me and how I experience my spirituality, and I immediately became a disciplined student in what I call ‘Soul School’. I spent five months in this book, letting myself take as long I needed to get through all the material. I left it open-ended, allowing my soul get everything out that it needed to purge. I was getting so much out of it, I decided to go through each of her books, and of course I was led through them in an entirely different order than I’d planned.
Next, I journaled my way through Soul Vows. It was an opportunity to dialogue with my inner self about what I truly believed about myself, other people, and my place in the world. It was a deep dismantling of false beliefs, getting them down on paper and acknowledging how they function as an undercurrent of one’s thoughts and actions. The chakras were the model used to go through the many aspects of our lives. In the end, I ended up with my own set of soul vows, a unique set of agreements I was making with the world around me about how I was going to show up. There were seven vows, along with seven new beliefs to replace the false ones in the form of ‘I am’ statements which aligned to each of the chakras.
Next, I moved on to Find Your Soul’s Purpose. The previous book was the HOW; this book was the WHY. In working with the spiral model, I emerged from the work with a unique statement about why I am here. By the time I moved on to the final book, The Lotus and the Lily, it was the beginning of November, my birth month. Considering that my birthday is the last day of the month, and the book took 30 days to get through, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I was finishing up on my birthday, a fresh new year of my life. The goal was to give the year a theme/name and create an intention mandala using the spirituality of the east and west to go deeper into the heart of the soul’s purpose, ending up with a soul direction statement and a clear intention. I had the HOW, then I had the WHY; now I had the WHAT.
Isn’t that how it is in the spiritual journey? We want to know what we’re supposed to do. Then we want to know why, as though we are owed an explanation by the divine. Then we want a how-to list. We treat our spirituality like it’s a business model, creating a mission statement, deciding how we want to structure our organization, then figuring out how to execute it. But the spiritual life is one great paradox. We don’t get the why and what. We are simply told to proceed and everything unfolds as it will.
When I set out on this leg of the journey, I surrendered completely. I had no expectation; I just wanted out of the hostage situation I had been in with those deep underlying beliefs that were holding me back. Surrender was key – we are human beings, not human doings. A soul purpose statement is not a career plan or to-do list – it’s your own unique expression of the divine spark, regardless of what you’re doing. The doing will shift and change over time. The lessons we are here to learn and teach, while springing from a universal place, are very individual in how they show up in each person. So who am I? Why am I here? What’s next? This is the work.
I had been working on my deep soul writing for about two months when a red-tailed hawk flew into my path one day and perched before me. I knew I was about to enter a new stage of my life. For the past 12 years, I had been having some very unique and extraordinary experiences with animals. Specific animals were showing up at unique times, in unique forms, and in powerful ways that could not be ignored. It kept happening. The medicine and messages were too synchronous to deny. But I really didn’t know what it meant in the grand scheme. As I was working my way through my soul vows, I was stuck and frustrated, almost to the point of angry tears. I was ready to give up one morning, when a baby rabbit hopped onto my patio out of nowhere, bounced over to my window, then sat up on its hind legs and stared in the window at me. And just sat there. Just like that, I realized that I needed to make a list of the animals. There were seven power animals who had been ministering to me in my life, like little angels. As I explored the meaning of each one, I was stunned to realize that the lessons I had been receiving from each one over the years was aligned to a specific chakra. Just when I thought I would never get my soul vows and break through my false beliefs, I learned that they had been sitting in front of me the entire time, since the very first snowy white owl sat before me against the Seattle night sky in April 2007, ushering in a time of transformation.
After several months off, I have found myself working even more deeply in the chakras. It was one of several models I worked with last year, but I wanted to really go through each one and focus my attention there. There were six more animals sitting on a list off to the side during my soul vows that didn’t belong in the dialogue at that time, but definitely belonged somewhere. It was as through some of them belonged between the chakras, with unique lessons of their own, yet bridging the spaces between like stepping-stones. Just like that I discovered that I was working with a 13 chakra system. I didn’t even know it existed. I am now back in year two of Soul School, using the book Journaling Through the Chakras by Amber Lea Starfire – I do best with guidance and prompts. I have also started a Kundalini practice. I had no idea at the time the red-tailed hawk appeared to me that it represents the ushering in of Kundalini energy.
I had just written my theme for this year back in January when I wandered into a rock store to find stones for a bracelet my Fella wanted to make, and discovered a connection with stones I didn’t realize I had. Certain stones had been very important to me over the years, but this was a new level. I went four times to that rock store, spending a lot of time on each trip, holding them, connecting with them, letting the stones choose me. Guess what? Yep, I ended up with 13 stones. And yes, each one aligned to a chakra and soul vow just like the animals. What the heck.
In the days of yore, I would have looked up the meanings of things first and tried to impose my own will and ideas based on what I believed my life was supposed to be and how that was supposed to play out going forward. Those days are long gone. There really is no way to explain in detail what the last year-and-a-half has been like on a deep internal level; how all these things found me, in spite of my own beliefs or lack thereof. Everything is being dismantled and rebuilt simultaneously. I have decided to share the things I’ve learned and am learning as I take this journey from earth to sky and back again. I’m exploring everything I can about myself and there is so much ahead. I never imagined I’d share this stuff this way, but I really want to. It’s fulfilling and fun, and even if your beliefs are different from mine, I welcome you. We are all on our own journeys here. I am going to share a blog post for each chakra from time to time to share what I’ve learned as I work my way through them. I’m embracing the colorful, creative aspect of each one as I go. As a launching off point, here are some of the core things I am bringing from last year into my current work. These things are the foundation of my life. I’ve always known them. I just never knew them. What do they mean in the practical sense? No friggin’ idea. Can’t wait to find out!
SOUL PURPOSE STATEMENT:
I, Melanie Amber, am a vessel of divine wisdom. I am the living embodiment of the freedom that is born from creative expression, deep connection, and truth in action.
SOUL DIRECTION STATEMENT:
I am a soul designer. I get paid for my perspective. I teach people how to break down barriers. I stand in the gap between the extremes and I act as a bridge. I lead by example as an ambassador for spirit and higher consciousness.
THEME OF 2019 = ALL THE COLORS IN THE RAINBOW
SOUL PURPOSE STONES: Rainbow fluorite and Amber
SOUL PURPOSE ANIMALS: Red-Tailed Hawk and Cedar Waxwing
GOAL AND INTENTION:
I want to be the kind of person whose very presence elevates the dialogue, both internally and externally, of the space in which I inhabit at any given moment. I want to be someone whose presence increases the creativity, positivity, and goodness of every space I enter. I want to exude the power that comes from inner strength, inner peace, centeredness, and generosity of spirit; a quiet strength that comes from deep connectedness with my Source.